I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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