drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
