butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
