just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
