He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
