it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
