Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
