and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
