Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
