Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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