we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
