No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
