Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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