He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
my poor anus
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
