oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
