so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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