Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
