my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
