we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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