been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
