I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
