At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
