I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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