You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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