i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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