You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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