Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
