Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
