I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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