I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize