You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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