last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
