Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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