and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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