i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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