i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
