Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
