At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
