Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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