Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
