I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This is my gift to your gina
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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