a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
