Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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