fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm bleeding and have questions
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
