i already hear my dad disowning me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
