I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
