im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
