Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
