Me too!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
