I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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