just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
