can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
