beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
