How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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