Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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