i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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